We’ve all asked these questions in one way or another. The key to striking the right tone is to put yourself in the other person’s shoes.

This is not an easy task.

In your daily routine, it’s hard to truly do this. Our nature is to be self centered: it’s also your reader’s nature.

Instead of burning mental calories think of it like a partnership.

What pronouns are you using? You? Me? Instead use pronouns like we (where it makes sense). An attitude of we’re in this together is much more likely to get you the outcome you want.

Before you hit send. Re-read your writing for tonality and formality. How is your writing likely to make the other person feel?

Are you using loaded language that could cause a strong reaction?

You know the relationship (or maybe you don’t) is that emoji really going to melt the heart of someone who’s typically reserved?

Still Not Sure?

Think back to your prior interactions, or if this is a new acquaintance, check out how they write online. What do they talk about? Are they usually laser focused on the facts and figures? Or are they focused on more humanistic qualities? Do they strike you as warm and bubbly?

These are signals towards how they process information, and your tone and formality should match these.

Having self-awareness on your own personality will also help you establish a baseline for your own communications. If you’re highly agreeable and extraverted, you may need to tone it back for someone who’s a bit more task oriented and reserved. Use our personality test to get a sense of your own communication style HERE