We’ve all asked these questions in one way or another. Putting yourself in the other person’s shoes is the key to striking the right tone.

This is a challenging task.

In your daily routine, it’s hard to do this truly. Our nature is to be self-centered: it’s also your reader’s nature.

Instead of burning mental calories, think of it like a partnership.

What pronouns are you using? You? Me? Instead, use pronouns like we (where it makes sense). An attitude of we’re in this together is much more likely to get you the outcome you want.

Before you hit send, re-read your writing for tonality and formality. How is your writing likely to make the other person feel?

Are you using loaded language that could cause a strong reaction?

You know the relationship (or maybe you don’t). Is that emoji going to melt the heart of someone typically reserved?

Still Not Sure?

Remember your prior interactions, or if this is a new acquaintance, check out how they write online. What do they talk about? Are they usually laser-focused on the facts and figures? Or are they focused on more humanistic qualities? Do they strike you as warm and bubbly?

These are signals towards how they process information, and your tone and formality should match these.

Self-awareness of your personality will also help you establish a communication baseline. If you’re highly agreeable and extraverted, you may need to tone it back for someone who’s more task-oriented and reserved. Use our personality test to get a sense of your communication style HERE.