What do you want?
In school, you were taught to write in a specific way, lay out your introduction, support your ideas, and end with a conclusion.
That formula is backward for email.
What do you need? Your email is likely a to-do list item for the other person. Make it easier for your reader.
Get to the point quickly so your reader understands:
What’s needed of them
What they need to know to make a decision.